Fuck You, You Dumb Fuck

Manifesto

Gina Rinehart

"If you’re jealous of those with more money, don’t just sit there and complain. Do something to make more money yourself - spend less time drinking or smoking and socialising, and more time working."

Fuck you, your hideously dumb fuck.

Rinehart, the world’s richest woman, is an Australian mining ‘tycoon’ who as The LA Times points out “made her money the old-fashioned way - she inherited it”. Imagine how much richer she’d be if she spent less time eating cake and telling those who weren’t born into privilege to stop being lazy.

What a fucking cunt.

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Todd Akin

"The row began when Akin, in an interview with the St Louis channel KTVI-TV broadcast on Sunday, was asked about his opposition to abortion, even in the case of rape.  

'It seems to me, from what I understand from doctors, that's really rare,' Akin replied. 'If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let's assume that maybe that didn't work or something: I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be of the rapist, and not attacking the child.”

Fuck you, you dumb, dumb Republican fuck. The only good you bring to the world is to make us feel slightly less guilty about voting in the fucking Tories.

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Andrew M Brown

"Watching Gemma Gibbons gaining Britain’s first judo medal in 12 years, I found myself wondering: is women fighting each other violently a perfectly wholesome spectator sport? This wasn’t a bit of pretend wrestling. Gemma and her American opponent, Kayla Harrison, were properly grappling with each other, throwing each other with full force onto the mat. They both showed pure, naked, fierce, animalistic aggression of a sort that one doesn’t naturally associate with women – or girls for that matter. Quite honestly my initial reaction was one of shock."

Oh fuck you, you dumb fuck.

It’s a fucking sport. A full contact sport. That is contested by two consenting adults. If your complaint was about violent sport then that would be fine. But it’s about ickle women hurting themselves when they should be doing the washing or painting their nails.

Which makes you a wretchedly dumb fuck.

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The World’s Super-Rich

"The world’s super-rich have taken advantage of lax tax rules to siphon off at least $21 trillion, and possibly as much as $32tn, from their home countries and hide it abroad – a sum larger than the entire American economy."

Fuck you, you dumb rich fucks.

$21 trillion. TRILLION. No fucking wonder we’re in the midst of a global economic crisis. Yet rather than invest resource into tracking down these cunts and making them pay what they are legally obliged to, the UK Government instead prefers to strip away our public services and squeeze the innocent working man and women for every fucking last penny they think they can get away with.

Why? Because these Tory cunts are amongst the aforementioned super-rich. And if they’re not rich themselves then they’re friends with these rich counts or else have some vested interest in keeping the rich cunts on side.

Therefore they fuck over the public. You and me. Why? Because they don’t give a shit about us and they know full well we won’t do shit about it.

Fuck you, you dumb cunts, and fuck us for putting up with it.

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Andrew Lansley

"When the government unveils a policy change on a Friday it’s a sure sign that it doesn’t want you to notice. Today, Andrew Lansley will announce that the 49% cap on private work done by NHS hospitals, which his bill introduced, will be abolished. In other words, the Health Secretary has just opened the door to the full-scale privatisation of the NHS, with hospitals able to raise 100% of their income from private healthcare.”

Not only are you intent on pushing through your absurd privatisation of OUR health service despite overwhelming public opposition, but you’re also duplicitous enough to do at a moment when you believe we’re dumb enough and passive enough to let you get away with it.

How fucking dare you, you dumb fuck?

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UPDATE: Not true, according to an update to the New Statesman story. Lansley’s still a fucking dumb fuck, though.

Harry Mount

"The Shard would look great in Manhattan – it’s a disaster in London. Yes, I can see that, in New York, its height and its reflective qualities would work a treat, standing among a thick quiver of skyscrapers that, together, produce a real kind of beauty – particularly when viewed from a long way away, bumping across the Brooklyn Bridge in a yellow taxi. But London isn’t New York. There is nothing of any aesthetic skill in Renzo Piano’s design: no ornamentation, no sophistication, just a pyramid of flat planes. The Egyptians worked that one out 4,500 years ago. While our aesthetic appreciation and our artistic skills have regressed, our technological skills have advanced enormously. And so you end up with the logical conclusion – blank, unadorned, ultra-simplistic, art-free planes of steel and glass expanded to a massive scale. It’s enough to make Canaletto and Christopher Wren weep.”

Fuck you, you dumb fuck.

You could have saved yourself a lot of hassle by trimming that whole fucking feature into four simple words - I don’t like it.

Well bully for you. And guess what, you dumb fuck? I do like it. I like it because of its lack of “ornamentation” and “sophistication”. As the author of ‘How England Made the English: From Hedgerows to Heathrow’ I guess you’d be happier if it had some ornamental Beefeaters on the roof or a diamond-clad replica of Liz’s wrinkly flange over the entrance so as to reflect our national identity or some shit?

Well that would be fucking dreadful. I like it because of its raw, Arab-made violence, stabbing the fucking sky like a spear up your arsehole.

Fuck off, you dumb fuck.

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Chris Moyles

"It’s boring."

Fuck you, you (quite literally) dumb fuck.

That’s your assessment of the hugely important discovery of the Higgs Boson particle, as announced by CERN scientists this morning. You also described it as “pointless” on your stupid Radio 1 show.

It sickens me that you’ve successfully made a living by championing your stupidity and ignorance, you dumb fuck.

Fuck off.

David Conway

"There’s a risk that educational standards, and even Anglicanism itself, might be endangered by the expansion of church schools. My fear is that Anglican schools may be forced, for the sake of becoming more inclusive, to dilute their distinctively religious character, and even to turn away applicants from genuine Anglican backgrounds, to accommodate those who are not … Church schools will only continue to achieve good academic results, and hence remain popular, so long as they preserve enough of their religious character. It’s what drives their success.”

Fuck you, you dumb fuck.

The Government has bizarrely decided to facilitate further Church intervention into 21st century schools, and your main concern is that their obligation to admit members of multicultural Britain will distil the Church’s Anglican-ness?

Religion has no part to play in school, other than as being a subject for study. That the Church is permitted to spread its illogical and outdated teachings amongst our children is nothing short of a scandal. As is the fact that Church schools are free to define their own bigoted admissions criteria at the expense of children’s future.

You dumb fuck.

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Jeremy Hunt (via David Cameron)

“I don’t regret giving the job to Jeremy Hunt, it was the right thing to do in the circumstances, which were not of my making. The crucial point, the really crucial point, is did Jeremy Hunt carry out his role properly with respect to BSkyB and I believe that he did.”

Fuck you, you pair of massive fucks.

Mr Cameron - fucking take responsibility for something and admit that Hunt is a cunt and then sack him. Then apologise for defending him in the face of overwhelming evidence, then resign yourself for your incompetence.

Mr Hunt - what sort of fucking soulless, bare-faced cunt are you to still have the nerve to show up to work.

And if either of you have the nerve to call for a single banker’s resignation, then you’re even bigger cunts that the unfathomable cunts you already are.

Dumb fucks.

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Mervyn King

"From excessive levels of compensation, to shoddy treatment of customers, to a deceitful manipulation of one of the most important interest rates and now news of yet another mis-selling scandal we can see we need a real change in the culture of the industry."

Fuck you, you dumb fuck.

The Bank of England are as deep in this cesspool of shite as Barclays, RBS and all those other banking cunts.

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